1.1 The Fall of Bob

Bob is dead.
Bob is in heaven.
Bob likes heaven very much.
Bob has met God.
Bob found God to be very friendly.
Bob liked God.
Bob also met some angels.
Bob likes the angels' wings.
Bob thinks their white feathers are nifty.
Bob thought their halos were pretty too.
Bob wants a halo of his own.
Bob also wants some wings.
Bob doesn't know how to fly though.
Bob likes the fluffy clouds.
Bob thinks it's clever that heaven is made of clouds.
Bob enjoys jumping from cloud to cloud in heaven.
Bob wonders where the animals are.
Bob was told by God that animals don't go to heaven.
Bob nearly cried.
Bob wondered if animals went to hell.
Bob decided to go to hell.
Bob was advised that going to hell wasn't a very good idea.
Bob ignored the advice.
Bob asked an angel if you would give him a ride to heaven.
Bob was told where to stuff it.
Bob decided he had to make his own way to hell.
Bob went to the gates of heaven.
Bob asked St Peter to let him out.
Bob was given a rather funny look.
Bob tried to climb over the gates.
Bob was told off by St Peter.
Bob ignored him.
Bob is a teenager.
Bob decided the quickest way to hell would be to jump.
Bob jumped.
Bob fell very fast in the general direction of down.
Bob saw what looked like fire approaching him very quickly.
Bob was rather scared by this.
Bob thumped into some brimstone.
Bob didn't actually know what brimstone was but he figured it must be like this.
Bob was told it wasn’t by an ugly creature with leathery wings.
Bob liked the angels' wings better.
Bob was told that was half the point.
Bob asked what the other half was.
Bob was told where to stuff it. Again.
Bob watched the ugly creature leave him all alone.
Bob wondered just what to do next...