1.3 Bob Meets Lucifer

Bob is dead.
Bob is in the middle of hell.
Bob is at the entrance to a big tower.
Bob knows that Lucifer is inside.
Bob wondered where inside, and how he was meant to find him.
Bob opened the door and had a look.
Bob saw one staircase.
Bob looked around.
Bob saw one staircase.
Bob decided that was the only thing there.
Bob began walking up the staircase.
Bob noticed that it was winding round as it went up.
Bob decided this was to make you dizzy.
Bob liked being dizzy.
Bob thought being dizzy on stairs might be bad.
Bob didn't want to fall down the stairs.
Bob decided this would be bad.
Bob eventually found himself at the top.
Bob wasn't sure it was the top, actually, but there was a door there.
Bob looked at the door.
Bob concluded that it was, indeed, a door.
Bob touched the handle gingerly.
Bob was pleased to find it wasn't hot.
Bob twisted it and opened the door.
Bob now found himself in a big, red room.
Bob wondered why everything in hell was so red.
Bob thought heaven looked prettier.
Bob said so to the ugly creature at the other end of the room.
Bob was informed that the big ugly creature rather liked red.
Bob asked why there were so many ugly things in hell.
Bob wondered why the big ugly creature looked so disgruntled.
Bob enquired as to whom he was speaking to.
Bob was told to guess.
Bob guessed wrong.
Bob was given a hefty slap by the big ugly creature.
Bob was informed that he was talking to Lucifer, and he better remember it too.
Bob got straight to the point.
Bob didn't get the irony of this (such as it was).
Bob asked if there were any animals in hell.
Bob was rather pleased to discover there weren't.
Bob thanked Lucifer politely.
Bob was asked if that was all he'd wanted.
Bob thought.
Bob nodded.
Bob was told to have sexual intercourse back to where he'd come from.
Bob didn't quite understand.
Bob was kicked, quite firmly, out of the tower...