Bob - 503: Bob's Platoon

5.3 Bob's Platoon</u>

Bob is dead.
Bob and Dave have joined Heaven's army.
Bob and Dave were assigned to a platoon.
Bob asked what a platoon was exactly.
Bob was informed that it was a military unit, typically of 30 to 50 soldiers, subdivided into sections, that had a film named after it which made it an appropriate title for this episode.
Bob attempted to reassemble the fourth wall.
Bob gave up and caught up with the rest of his platoon.
Bob asked Dave who everyone was.
Bob was introduced to Tom and Mike.
Bob said hi.
Bob asked who everyone else was.
Bob was told that Dave couldn't be bothered to find out the names of 26 to 46 other soldiers.
Bob's platoon stopped in front of a closed doorway.
Bob could see many other platoons lined up before similar doorways all around.
Bob could see many angels, armed with various weapons, flying about overhead.
Bob could see many boats and many planes moving in ways that would frankly be quite bizarre in the real world but in Heaven seemed just fine.
Bob surmised that this was millions of people preparing for a big war.
Bob was reminded that he'd started all this.
Bob tried to hide behind Dave in case anyone noticed him.
Bob was reminded that Dave was half his height.
Bob gave up hiding and just tried to look inconspicuous.
Bob saw his platoon's lieutenant wandering along the line of men.
Bob asked the lieutenant where they were going.
Bob was informed they were being sent to the trenches in Purgatory, the very front line of the war.
Bob was impressed.
Bob was told he shouldn't be.
Bob was told he would most likely die.
Bob pointed out that he was already dead.
Bob was informed that yes, this was true, but in a war such as this he could still be 'killed', meaning that he would stop existing entirely.
Bob said "oh".
Bob saw the doorway open and his platoon begin to march through it.
Bob and Dave, and Tom and Mike, passed through the doorway.
Bob found himself in a seven-foot-deep dirt trench, above which he could see the Earth-like buildings of Purgatory that he remembered from his previous visits.
Bob thought it was silly that they'd bothered to dig holes in the ground when they could've just used the existing buildings.
Bob saw a missile destroy a building.
Bob decided the trenches were a good idea after all.
Bob and Dave were shown to their room.
Bob didn't think much of the small hole and bunk bed.
Bob was told Dave didn't mind.
Bob envied Dave's small stature.
Bob went to dump his stuff on his bed.
Bob realised he had no stuff to dump.
Bob saw a soldier poke his head round the door.
Bob and Dave were told the lieutenant wanted to see them.
Bob wondered what he'd done wrong already.
Bob was told he'd done nothing wrong.
Bob and Dave were informed that the lieutenant had a mission for them...